Today, I just got thinking about the marriage craze and decided to pen down my thoughts. Of course these thoughts were not totally unrelated with all the BBM updates all morning, boo this, boo that. I’m not a boo hater – far from it – but I think there’s a big problem in dating or getting married to fit into societal expectations. Not only does it show low self-esteem, it depicts crowd mentality. Of course, a lot of people are pressured into marriage because of family and friends and say things like ‘I had no choice’ but my question is ‘wouldn’t you rather be pressured for a few years than spend the rest of your life in misery?’ Everyone faces pressure; Momsie mentions the M word every time in subtle and sometimes not so subtle ways. But what’s different is no amount of pressure would get me into a wrong marriage. If I am in a wrong marriage, I would like to know that I am responsible for the bad decision and as such I have to live by it.
I say this because society is just full of people who would never be satisfied no matter what you do. You graduate and start working and they keep asking when you are getting married, you get married, they ask when would the kids start coming, you have one kid, when she’s about two years old, they say ‘She’s old enough to have a younger sibling o, you have a second child; a girl, they say ‘Why don’t you try for a boy?’ How about you hush and let me live my life?! It really never stops; people keep asking for more and acting like they have a stake in your life. If at any time, you decide to rebel and act outside their expectations, it’s war!
Marriage is great, love is beautiful but it has a caveat; being with the right person. If you meet someone, who’s great, loves you and doesn’t stress the hell out of you (very important, especially if you contribute 40, 50 or 60 sometimes 70 percent to upkeep!) fine. Really, some men are just damn silly! I come back from my banking job at 9pm, and you tell me you wanna eat amala?? Thunder fire you mehn! A banking job that I would gladly leave and face my writing if I had the option! I am not saying women shouldn’t contribute financially to upkeep (even though it would be totally awesome if we didn’t have to!) but if she’s doing her fair share in bringing home the bacon, cut her some slack please!
I heard of a couple’s story; wife was complaining that she would take some money to buy shoes o and we wondered what she meant until we found that when she receives her salary every month, she hands it over to her husband who administers it accordingly? Seriously?? In this age? Smh. When this lady was pregnant, the guy left her to ‘enter’ public transport while he drove the car to his office (they had just one car, and yes she could drive). Makes we wonder, what exactly do these women look out for in saying yes to marriage? Is it just to fulfill societal expectations or genuine love?
Please share your thoughts, what do you think about the craze to get married?