How has your week been so far? Great, thank God! Crappy, thank Him, it will get better! I came across this lovely article while browsing today and thought to share it! Enjoy and please lemme know your thoughts!
Dating commandment #1: It all starts with you.
It’s the same advice your mom gave you on the first day of school: be yourself. Present yourself authentically, laugh at the things you find funny, share your personal viewpoints on hot topics, wear your favorite geeky sweater, and give your date an opportunity to get to know the real you. While the fear of rejection is often the greatest cause of putting fake selves forward, being rejected for not being yourself is far more tragic than being willing to be rejected by the wrong person in the quest for the right one who loves you just as you are.
Dating commandment #2: Do not lie.
Dishonesty is a deal-breaker for most daters. To avoid getting caught in a lie, don’t tell one. Be honest. Be vulnerable. When in doubt, say a little too much rather than attempt coyness around uncomfortable situations. If you have baggage stemming from a previous relationship, don’t pretend you don’t. If you don’t understand a political reference in a conversation, ask for clarification. If your date asks a question you don’t want to answer, tell her that you don’t feel comfortable answering it instead of avoiding it by giving a dishonest answer.
Dates early on set a precedent for the entire relationship. Don’t let dishonesty hurt the great future you might have.
Dating commandment #3: Do not compare.
Don’t hold the sins of others against your new date. Don’t compare your dinner companion to your ex, your girlfriend’s awesome boyfriend, or your dad. Don’t assume that similarities between your new guy and your ex will dictate heartache, or that significant differences will mean that you’ll never feel understood the way you once felt.
Give him/her a chance. Focus on getting to know someone new without comparing his/her menu choices to those of an old vegetarian crush’s.
Dating commandment #4: Do not ignore red flags.
While it’s important to give your date a fair shot, it’s also important to not ignore glaring signs of incompatibility, misaligned value systems or dangerous behaviors.
If you’re uncomfortable around someone, pay attention to the red flags. Don’t force yourself to stay in a bad situation, or to say yes to a date that you know, without a doubt, can lead nowhere.
Dating commandment #5: Do not play games.
That rulebook mentioned earlier? Throw it out. If you like her, ask her out. If he leaves a voicemail message, call him back. If you’re hesitant to say yes to a Friday date with Cute Co-Worker because you’re hoping other Cute Co-Worker will ask you out, say no to the first one regardless of the guarantee of a date with the second. Don’t use anyone as a backup plan.
Next week, I’ll be blogging about the ongoing feud between ‘Team Nacchie’ and ‘Team Relaxer’. Please don’t miss it!