Dating

Soulmate Or Not?

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Couples-In-LoveWhoever came up with the idea of a soul mate? Who says that there’s just one person in the world you could be with? For so long, the media has promoted what I call ‘The Soul Mate Notion’.  They would have you believe that there’s just one person in the world that’s a perfect blend with your personality; in essence you must do all you can to hook up with that person. They give all kind of names to it; The One, the yin to your yang bla bla blah! Consciously or unconsciously, we have imbibed this and live by it. One question, what if your supposed soul mate is in some far off place like Iraq or Myanmar or even China?! What happens? Are you to go looking for him or stay single and hope and pray daily that he finds you? What about if he dies or becomes a Jihadist?!

I remember my first year at Uni; I met someone I really liked. I went through all the phases; you know, think about him a lot, wait for him to call, get excited when you see him bla bla blah! Guy was a TDH- Tall, Dark, Handsome; you know the kind of bloke that gives you the shivers! *wink* But after a few weeks, we differed on a fundamental issue; our beliefs. We would have long arguments and never come to a meeting point. As a young naïve Christian, I started to pray for him to ‘see the light’. I prayed and prayed and then one day, I heard God say clearly to me (not through anyone cos I wouldn’t have believed), that I was wasting my time. I was shell-shocked and so I held on, for years. Why? I strongly believed He was ‘The One’.

But how and when did I get to thinking he was my soul mate? We attended the same university, that’s how we met, but what if I had attended UNILAG instead, would he still have been my soul mate? Some would say we were destined to meet. These same people believe who you end up with is more a function of destiny than choice. I beg to differ; who you date is influenced by your environment, where you schooled, your circle of friends etc. In essence, you are dating that guy or girl because you two share similar beliefs and connect on several levels. When you no longer connect, it all goes wrong. Question is do you connect with just one person? Of course not. Think about it for a sec, wouldn’t God be unfair if He gave each one of us just one ‘soul mate’? Me thinks there are several people one can be with and be happy. As long as the basic principles of respect, trust, friendship and love are in place, dazall!

Truth is dating and relationships are risky affairs even with a supposed soul mate. Why? People change. A soul mate at 21 could become a monster at 50. But if you base your decision on the basic principles, and not singing he’s my soul mate, she’s my soul mate, at least you stand a better chance of choosing right.

So quit waiting around for some non-existent soul mate, look closely you just might find love and happiness right before you. As someone said, love is lurking at all corners, maybe you just ain’t checking out the right corner!

Photo credit: barbarajpeters.com